من خواطري و شكرا على من شجعني

Thank you عمة الجازي
I was thinkig that there was a gramatical mistakes. thank you for your notices

with you-----------------------I feel peace and freedom deep down my heart

بصراحه روعه روعه كل الي كتبتيه مشاءالله عليك وان شاء الله اصير مثلك يوم من الأيام
واكتب وتجيني الجرأة اكتب انجليزي هههههه<<<<< ميح بالكتابه وتركيب الجمل
يعطيك العافية على الكلمات الرائعه ونبي نشوف جديدك اختي وشكرااااااا

شكرا لك صرئوعة أووي على المرور و يسعدني تواجدك

mashallah
Good job, this is a very fun way to learn English I love writing my dairy and expressing my thoughts through English..
Ok my sister would you let me do some corrections for you just to make sure you improve even better??

I wish this does n't bother you :) we're here to learn from each other right??

oooook besm Allah

Blue
my corrections
red
your writing
red
your mistakes



Do you still remember that single wooden chair which we stayed together in
the verb stay is not really good because you don't say
I stayed in the chair
you say
I sat on a chair


Do you still remember that muddy dolls which we made together
ok this sentence is fine but I don't like how you just went to the next idea right away you should have a little break between them to let the poem flow ..
so how about add a line after that and say
do you still remember?
I know it's the same thing but repeating in English poem gives a little touch of importance


But I still remember
the sentence is right again but I don't like how it's said, it's very not attracting any attention ..
how about say
I do remember, my beloved
then you continue
That you are my best friend
that's right
Who dry my tears when Iam sad

dry is not the right word
the right way of saying this is
Who wipes my tears away
Iam is wrong
you should write it
I am or I'm


Does the fate will join us again
when you have a question without answers they should be asked by saying
WOULD
so this question will be like this
would fate join us again?

and it's a good idea if you add a little of your feeling like saying
I wonder, would fate join us again?


But whatever the fate separated us
We still two bodies for one spirit
And two friends for one mind

for this part I tried to change whatever is possible to make it as smooth and as possible I hope you like that :)

but no matter, even if it separates us

We will still be two bodies with one spirit

true friends in each other's heart


With you

With you -------------------I see only beatiful things
beautiful


with you-----------------------I feel peace and freedom deep down my heart
it's not wrong but when you talk about heart it's better to say
from the bottom of my heart

with you------------------------I see a thing of care and consideration

I see a thing means that you only see alittle bit of it like in arabic we say
معك اشعر ببعض الاهتمام
language is different and so is the way of talking and expressing
so you can say
with you-------------I feel the care and consideration



With you--------------------------- life is kind of charm and happiness

no need to say of
just say
With you--------------------------- life is kind,charm and happy

thanks for sharing your ideas and feeling with us I wish allah will bring you with your friend again and forever if not here in the after life under his shade when there is no shade but his .. ameen


عمة الجازي


Sorry about that but I don't believe that poems in English SHOULD have rhyme
In Arabic it's true there is no poem without rhyme but in English it's different
There are REALLY great poems by very famous authors or philosophers that we keep until now that has no rhyme but has great meanings which will touch our hearts even Shakespeare himself have some great poems that don't rhyme
Sorry to say that but it's just a fact that I needed to say
:)

رغد الحياة . Thank you very much for correcting my paticipation . I hope for you all the best