let's write الجزء الثـــــــــاني

Dear mother,
I want to apologize about my glaring fault that I
made last week . I confess i was tempted to get away from our home and to discover what is going on out side which was a foolish idea. I was very happy when I escaped to the street, but I did not know what to do when I got lost. I felt worried, terrified, and I started crying. I thanked God for sending me the police man who took me to my house. I am very regretful. I beg your pardon.
Hoping for your forgivness.
Yours,
Reemo.

عزيزتي عين قطر يعطيج العافيه

بالنسبة لكلمة exploit فأنا أعتقد معناها يستغل
يعني اللي كنت بقوله " أني أستغليت طيبة قلبك أو أستخدمتها لصالحي "
فما أدري إذا كانت تصلح بهالمعنى أو لاء

على كل حال مشكورة أختي على التصحيح

السلام عليكم

تصحيح الغالية سميه عن موضوع خطوات تفريش الأسنان

بسم الله
الجملة قبل التصحيح
الجمله بعد التصحيح

في البداية ياقلبي طريقتك في بدء الموضوع مو مظبوطه انا فاهمه انك حابه تبدي بجمله شامله ولكن
جملتك نوعا ملخبطه

شوفي البديل اللي اخترته لك حبيبتي


First of all, I want to mention to you a many of important points before the entering in the main idea that it is (How to brush your teeth).
There are important tips a person should follow in order to maintain healthy looking teeth.



الجمله اللي بعدها حلوة وشوية تعديل بسيط فيها


The first point that brush your teeth daily at least twice a day.
The first is the importance of brushing your teeth daily, at least twice a day.





The second point that you must visiting the dentist twice a year.
الجمله حلوة لكنها قصيرة زودتها شوي وعدلت شوي

The second point is visiting the dentist should be twice a year for check ups and making sure that you are preserving healthy teeth.



Also, don’t forget the important of your food and drinking and don’t eat a lot of candy to avoid teeth decay and gum disease.
جملتك هذي رائعه وفيها كلمات ماتوقعتك تعرفيها :) صححتها شوي وعدلت فيها

Also, don’t forget the important of your eating and drinking habits, try to not eat a lot of candies to avoid teeth decay and gum disease.



المقطع الجاي ووصفك لكيفية التفريش اشوف انك لخبطتي فيه شوي
لذلك عوضت الكلام كله وقلت لمعرفة الطريقه السليمه لتفريش اسنانك يجب سؤال طبيبك


The last point that I mention it to you that you must knowing how to brush your teeth properly. At the beginning of your brushing, you must brushing your side teeth by the better way. Next, brush your teeth molars. After that, you must don’t forget brushing your front teeth by moving the brush in the correct direction.
When it comes to brushing your teeth, knowing how to brush is the most important thing to keep your teeth healthy. Make sure you ask you dentist to teach you the right way of brushing and the best type of tooth brush that is suitable for your teeth.


والجمله الأخيرة

Add to that, using the flossing between all your teeth cause getting out the things that the brush cannot out them.
Add to that, ask your dentist about flossing between all the teeth, because it is a key way for getting al the extra food that is stock in between the teeth.


بالتوفيق عزيزتي

تصحيح الغاليه اوماس عن التنفس الاصطناعي

الجمله قبل التصحيح
الجمله بعد التصحيح


The toughest experience I had was just before a couple of months when my family rented a house with an outdoor in- ground pool .
بدايه قمة في الروعه شوية تعديلات صغيره
The toughest experience I had been just a couple of months ago when my family rented a house with an outdoor in-ground pool.



There, one of my cousin drowned when she was boasting about how skilful she is in diving.
الجمله حلوة لكن اسلوب القول (هناك، احد اقربائي.. الخ) اسلوب مستعمل في اللغه العربية وحسيت الجمله غريبه شوي فعدلتها
It all started when one of my cousins was boasting about how skilful she is in diving and all of a sudden she drowned.


المقطع اللي بعده خالي من الأخطاء تقريبا الا من شغله وحده

We were all paralyzed by the horrified situation. She was pulled on the ground unconscious and we were trying to turn her onto her side to let the water out. Immediately, one of my cousin started pressing her chest and giving her a deep breath in her mouth after a while she regained her conscious.
لاحظي ياقلبي انك كررتي هالخطأ مرتين في هالموضع وهو قولك
one of my cousin
والصحيح انك تقولي
one of my cousins

واذا جيتي تترجمي المقصود راح تعرفي شو قصدي
مثلا:
واحد من قريبي (خطأ)
واحد من اقربائي ( صحيح)

We were all paralyzed by the horrified situation. She was pulled on the ground unconscious and we were trying to turn her onto her side to let the water out. Immediately, one of my cousins began pressing her chest and giving her a deep breath in her mouth after a while she regained her conscious.
والمقطع اللي بعده ايضا ممتاز ومافيه اخطاء ماشاء الله

In fact, this could happen again and again but my champion cousin wouldn't be present when in need. So I gathered all things related to CPR; stands for cardiopulmonary resuscitation and it is used to save a person whose heart has stopped beating. I can recollect some of these procedures to be remembered.



When the person has neither a pulse nor breathing start CPR.

When the person has neither a pulse nor breathing you should start performing CPR.




First, kneel beside the person and do chest compressions; place your hand on the lower tip of the breast bone and the other hand on top of the first hand and compress fifteen times in ten seconds.

First, kneel down beside the person and do chest compressions; place your hand on the lower tip of the breast bone and the other hand on top of the first hand and compress fifteen times in ten seconds.





Next, press the person's head firmly backward to tilt the head back and keep the mouth open to see if he is breathing or not. If the person is not breathing start the rescue breathing; close the nose to keep the air from escaping and take a deep breath then put you mouth on his lips to make an airtight seal. Give two slow breaths after the fifteenth compressions and notice the chest's movement with each ventilation. Do fifteen more compressions followed again by two slow breaths. After that, check the pulse and breathing and continue the procedure till he regained his pulse and breath. So I know that I should try to learn from my disappointments as well as my success.


بالنسبة للمقطع هذا اغلبه تماااام ماشاء الله جدا رائع طريقته في الكتابه
عندك خطأ واحد في كلمة till الظاهر انك متعلمه هالكلمة في الماسينجير لأنها كلمة نستخدمها لما نكون متاكسلين نكتب الكلمة الأصليه until
:)

وغيرت لك الجمله الأخيرة لأني مافهمت قصدك
فغيرتها بالمرة اتمنى تراجعيها وتعطيني رايك


Next, press the person's head firmly backward to tilt the head back and keep the mouth open to see if he is breathing or not. If the person is not breathing start the rescue breathing; close the nose to keep the air from escaping and take a deep breath then put you mouth on his lips to make an airtight seal. Give two slow breaths after the fifteenth compressions and notice the chest's movement with each ventilation. Do fifteen more compressions followed again by two slow breaths. After that, check the pulse and breathing and continue the procedure until he regained his pulse and breath. I am glad to have the opportunity to learn this first aid plan incase of emergencies, may Allah protect us from any tragic situation even after I learned the action procedure!

تصحيح الغاليه Reemo-only عن رسالة اعتذار


حياك الله بينا هذا اول موضوع لك معنا واتمناه من كل قلبي انه مايكون اخر موضوع
موضوعك حلو عندك حصيلة كلمات حلوة ولكن بنفس الوقت لديك بعض الأخطاء الملحوظه اتمنى تراجعيها معي ..


جملتك قبل التصحيح
جملتك بعد التصحيح


Dear mother,
I want to apologize about my glaring fault that I made last week .
استخادمك لكلمة glaring خاطيء
لأنها هالكلمة تعني انه (ساطع) او (بهي) او (لامع) ممكن احيانا يستخموها في وصف العيون كثييير
glaring eyes
وتعني العيون اللامعه من الدموع

المهم انت اكيد حابه تقولي انه خطأي (الواضح) لذلك استبدلت الكلمة بـ
obvious

I want to apologize for my obvious fault that I made last week.



I confess i was tempted to get away from our home and to discover what is going on out side which was a foolish idea.

في اللغه الانجليزيه الحرف (i) ممنوووووووووووع انه يكون سمول لحاله
لازم اذا كنت تقدصي بالحرف ضمير المتحدث لازم لازم لازم يكون الحرف هذا كابيتال

ايضا عدلت نهاية الجمله شوي وصارت اضبط

I confess, I was tempted to get away from home to discover what is going on outside which; I do believe now it was a foolish idea.



I was very happy when I escaped to the street, but I did not know what to do when I got lost.
جملتك صحيحه كلها لكن صغت لك نهاية الجمله بشكل مختلف

I was very happy when I escaped to the street, but I was fully away from happiness when I got
lost.


I felt worried, terrified, and I started crying. I thanked God for sending me the police man who took me to my house. I am very regretful. I beg your pardon.
Hoping for your forgivness.
Yours,
Reemo
شوية تعديلات بسيطه

I felt worried, terrified, and I started crying. Then, I thanked God for sending me the police man who took me to my house. Mom, I was very regretful please I beg your pardon.
Hoping for your forgiveness,
Yours,
Reemo

ملاحظاتي على كتابتك
ماشاء الله لغتك حلوة وشوية تدريب كمان راح تطوري مهاراتك اكثر باذن الله
ايضا لغتك سهله وماتعقدي الامور تحاولي بقدر الامكان تكون جملتك واضحه ومفهومه وهذي صفه ممتازة
مازلت تعانين من بعض المشاكل في طريقة صياغة الجمل ومافي مشكله كله بالتعويد تنحل المشكله


بالتوفيق يارب
رنيم